Sane Angel
by Ravenus
Summary: Cas' POV: ""Maybe Dean will throw you onto his bed and…" Lucifer's voice trails off suggestively and my blood freezes when I see the rude gestures that follow his words." Cas has run from the asylum and seeks Dean for help. Of course Dean will not leave him alone. Set in season 7. Sweet angel inside. Rated M. Complete.


_Set in Season 7 after Cas has absorbed Sam's hallucinations of Lucifer. He just looked so sad when Sam and Dean left him behind in the asylum._

_Cas' POV_

_Rated M (for Sex scene later)_

_Disclaimer: Nothing's mine except the plot of this story_

_Enjoy!_

**Sane Angel**

I run on bare feet down the long corridor. It is dark and the only light comes from the emergency exit signs above my head but I can see enough and run for my life. The small room in this asylum is so full of Lucifer that I cannot stand to stay here any longer. I run around another corner and see one of the back doors. I hope it is open because I cannot use my angelic powers since I have taken Sam's disease from him to save him and now it is driving me insane.

I can still remember every word Lucifer has said to me and still tears come up when I think about it. I need to get out of here, I want to be free and hope that I will not see the diabolic face with the false grin on it outside. I want to breathe fresh air again and so I try the handle of the back door and find it open. Thank God! With too much force I yank it open and look around outside. I was sure to find a fence surrounding the grounds of the asylum but I cannot see it from my position and so I go on, slower now, praying that no one will see me escape.

Without looking back I run as fast as I can. There is no fence, no wall, nothing and in the distance I can see the woods that surround the whole area. Of course they will search there for me but I need to breathe. I have never felt so … human before. Within a few minutes I'm beneath the trees covered by their thick leafs. I allow myself to rest, bending down, my hands on my knees.

"So, pretty angel… you managed to get out of your prison cell. But where will you go now?" He mocks me again, leaning against the trunk of a huge tree while piercing me with his eyes. I feel so naked when he looks at me. Dean. I need to find Dean. He will understand me, help me, give me shelter. "Ah… the older Winchester brother. A hunter." I hate how Lucifer can see right into my mind. "I know what you hope for." His voice is a hiss, his words like snakes biting into my heart. "Sweet, little angel… You want him to love you." A dry laugh followed his words. "You of all creatures on this earth. You betrayed heaven, you betrayed hell and you even betrayed Dean when you turned his brother into a madman. Do you even know how much he hates you? He has killed angels before. He knows how to kill you."

I don't want to hear these words, I want him to shut up. Dean doesn't hate me. I have seen his face when I took over the disease, he was worried for me. Right? Right? Oh Gods, I want to see him, I need him by my side. With shivering legs I stand up and try to find Dean. Normally I can just find him within the blink of an eye, I always know where he is and if he is happy or sad, awake or asleep but now all I hear is the devil in my head. "Do you really think he wants to see you?" I don't know but I want to see him, fall into his arms and cry like a baby. I'm no angel any longer though I'm not human. I'm nothing.

"Shut up!" I yell at the top of my voice, my eyes shut tightly. I hope he will go away if I cannot see him.

"Sweet Castiel wants to cry, huh?" I lay my hands over my ears and fall to my knees, eyes still closed.

"Go away!" I scream so loud that people in the asylum will hear me but I don't care. I want Lucifer to shut up. When I open my eyes he is gone, at least I cannot see him. Without losing a second I search for Dean and Sam again. They're close, I can get there within a few hours. At least that is what I hope.

I look down my body. A white shirt, white trousers that are dirty up to my knees and my feet are covered in mud. I should really try to get to Dean tonight so darkness will cover my poor appearance. "Yes, you look like you're insane and ran from an asylum." He's back and I feel a tear slip from my eye. Once I've been a strong angel but now I'm just… insane. "Dean will be delighted to see you. Maybe he will throw you onto his bed and…" Lucifer's voice trails off suggestively and my blood freezes when I see the rude gestures that follow his words. How can he possibly know about the dreams I have. I feel guilty. Dirty. Not only my feet but my whole being. No one will ever have mercy on me again.

I run again though I don't know when I started and how. I can still see Lucifer, he follows me, he sits on a bench when I pass it, he leans against a car or a house and he always smiles like I'm about to break. For sure he will win soon and I will never be the same Castiel as I was before. Tears flow down my face because I will never escape him. Dean. I come closer but I don't know if they are still where I have felt them before. Maybe Sam and Dean have already left the small town or the motel. My heart races so fast that the blood pounds in my ears.

I'm so afraid that I nearly oversee the shabby motel between a gas station and an old train station. Here is where I felt Sam and Dean and my hands shake when I raise it to knock on their door. "Dean" I whisper and rest my head against the cold door.

"They knew you would come to find them, they left before you will burden them with your angelic problems."

He lies. I know because the door opens and I can see Dean with his mouth open in disbelief.

"Cas!" I love that he has made up a nickname for me and the instant he opens the door fully for me I stumble into the room. He sees that I'm about to fall and catches me in his arms to save me from falling to the floor. I inhale his scent and smile.

"Dirty little angel boy…" Lucifer mocks me. He already sits on a windowsill watching us.

"Make him go away, Dean." I beg. "I'm so scared he will break me." Sam comes up behind Dean but soon his face changes like so many before and Lucifer looks at me. Please, please don't let Dean change as well. I make myself as small as I can so that he can gather me completely in his arms while he sits down on the bed. I don't even make an effort to stay calm and let the tears run freely.

"Shhh… Cas, everything will be alright. Don't cry, angel." Dean's calm voice soothes me. I don't dare to look up into his face afraid that I might see _him_ again.

"He's everywhere I look. He says these things… such terrible things. I cannot stand this any longer." I know that Dean shares a look with Sam without looking up, knowing both long enough by now. A second later the door closes. Dean has sent Sam away so that I will feel safer. It works for now and I open my eyes, looking into Dean's green ones. "I'm insane, Dean. I'm so sorry I did this to your brother. It is horrible."

"Is he with us right now?" Dean asks and I look around.

"No." I answer and calm down. The hunter's hand wanders over my cheek and I realize he brushes away the tears..

"Why are you here, Cas? What can we probably do for you?"

"Nothing. But I needed to see you, Dean. I cannot stand being so far away from you when I feel so strange." His eyes widen and I try to get his reaction but I'm not good at reading humans. I can read him though and I just saw a hint of something. He misses me, too. The sane Castiel would know what to do now. If he wants something as much as I want Dean he gets it. But I'm not him – my former self – and so I just let my forehead rest on the hunter's shoulder to get as much comfort possible.

"I hated to leave you in the asylum. You looked so lost…" Dean whispers into my ear while softly caressing my hair. For the moment I feel better, normal even. It would be great if I could stay with Dean for the rest of my life. Never before have I felt the desire to stay with a person. It is the first time and I don't know what this is. I like this feeling when Dean is with me but the same feeling makes me sad when we are apart. The tingle in my stomach gets worse when we are in sticky situations and I fear that he might die. Maybe it will kill me, too, when he dies. At least it feels like it.

His hands stroke my hair ever so softly, playing idly with one strand or the other. It feels great and I fear the moment when I have to leave again.

"Dean?"

"Yes, angel?" Oh, his rich voice when he says that to me makes my heart skip a beat.

"Can I stay with you, Dean? Please? Don't make me go to that room again. Lucifer will follow me and mock me and make his sick jokes…" I panic and I know that it will not help me to stay with Dean. But he makes me feel better.

"Pretty angel, you love my sick jokes." It is his voice again but Dean is still Dean. I look around and find Lucifer standing by the bathroom door. God help me, he is back. "Does this man make you feel safer? You don't want to leave him? What is it that you really want, Cas? Tell me? Or shall I guess?" I press my hands to my ears which makes Dean look around even though he knows he will not see this man. Trying to hide my thoughts just lets them surface and he reads them like an open book. "You're already on the bed. So bent over for him as you wish to." No! It's not like that.

"Is he here?" Dean grabs my hands gently but firmly and forces me to look into his eyes while he scans the room with his beautiful green eyes. He cannot see the devil but I can.

"By the bathroom. He says such cruel things."

"What does he tell you?" Dean wants to know with so much concern in his voice that I want to weep. The heat rises to my face, I feel my cheeks turn red actually. Dean smirks.

"So it's private, huh?" I just nod timidly because I don't want him to know what Lucifer says. "It's okay, angel, you don't have to tell me." He must have seen the haunted look in my eyes that I'm sure is there.

"Aw, so sweet. He understands you, angel boy. Nasty angel boy. Shall I tell him about your feelings? About the love you feel for him?"

"NO!" I yell and see Lucifer move towards Dean slowly. Dean will not hear what the man tells him but I don't want him to do this. "Don't! Just go away." Dean stands up and pulls me with him because he has seen my eyes follow Lucifer.

"He cannot harm you, my angel." He tells me and with these words Lucifer vanishes. I'm his angel?

"I'm yours?" I want to know and look at him quizzically. He gulps, I guess he has not realized what he just said. He shall tell me again and again as long as Lucifer goes away and leaves us two alone. "Dean?" His eyes wander over my face restlessly, scanning me, searching for an answer that I don't have. I'm new to this, I'm not human but I have feelings nevertheless and most of them revolve around Dean and his lean body.

It totally surprises me that the hunter grabs my shoulders in an iron grip and pushes me back up against a wall. I panic but only until I feel his whole body pressed against mine. This is the last thing I think before he lowers his lips on mine and kisses me. Hard, with all the passion and lust that he feels for me. My mind is totally blank, I cannot think straight. I want him. Gods, how I want him.

"You're mine, Cas." Dean says with a shivering breath. Our faces are just inches apart and his intense eyes bore into mine. "He mocks you about me?" How does he know? "Well, he can mock me, too. I love you, too, Cas." I feel another tear escape my eyes but it is not from sadness, panic or fear. I'm relieved and happy.

Dean doesn't wait for me to say another word, he just kisses me again, this time slowly, gentle. His full pink lips caress mine and for the first time I feel what I have watched so often. Dean's lips appeal to me, I like to watch them move whenever the man speaks and they feel so damn great when they play with mine, open them with a slow stroke of his tongue and then the kiss gets deeper ever so slowly. This feels better than I could ever have imagined.

Dean presses me to the wall firmly, his hips rocking against mine involuntary and I can feel his desire. He wants more. I'm not as innocent and inexperienced as I may seem, I know what we are about to do and I want it more than anything I ever wanted in my entire life. A long life that is. I have seen angels fall, demons fight, immortals die I know life is full of possibilities, but here is the only thing that matters to me: Dean Winchester, hunter.

His hands wander down over my white shirt and it makes me awfully aware how dirty I am when he touches me. I cannot just 'poof' it all away since my angelic powers are not what they used to be and I feel ashamed, especially for my dirty bare feet. They might even be bloody in some spots, I cannot tell because now I can only feel Dean.

"Dean." He stops reluctantly, his hands stopping on my stomach - my flesh awfully aware of the warmth of his palm - and looks into my eyes with a silent question. "I have dirty feet. I ran the whole night to get to you. I should take a shower." At first it doesn't seem to register what I tell him but then he looks down and smiles.

"You came the whole way to me on bare feet?" He wants to know and I nod. I just said that, right? "Gods, Cas!" He grabs me again and crushes my body against his, spraying the top of my head with kisses. I love this. I love how he holds me. I love how his lips feel. I love how much he cares.

"I love you, Dean." I whisper. A sane thought buried deep in my insane brain. Lucifer laughs. But Dean holds me tighter and the evil sound fades. He just makes me feel better, I want him forever. With a deep sigh Dean looks up into my eyes.

"I so hoped to hear you say that one day." He whispers and kisses me again gently, a light peck on my lips before he pulls away completely. "Do you want to take a bath? The warm water might be soothing." Dean offers though I can see that he has other things on his mind. I'm torn between being selfish and take a bath that will me feel better and going farther with Dean right now. I guess he can see it in my eyes because he grabs my hand and pulls me towards the small bathroom.

There is a bathtub in the corner of the room but it can also be used as a shower I notice and smile at Dean. "A small shower will do." I inform him and he smiles, kissing my jawline while opening my shirt and letting it glide off my shoulders. It is so relaxing to have him with me, to finally have him care for me again like he always used to do. My shabby trousers follow and soon all my clothes are piled up on the floor.

I feel dirty. Most likely because I'm covered in dirt all over my legs but Dean doesn't care. He takes a step back and looks at me, his mouth slightly opened while his gorgeous green eyes that remind me of trees and forests wander over my form shamelessly. I'm not ashamed under his intense gaze either. This is _Dean_ after all. I love him since I have dragged him out of hell. I fell for him when My grace touched his soul. It is just as simple. I was meant for him from the beginning.

With a glance towards the bathroom door I spot Lucifer standing there. He seems angry, his jaw is set in an angry frown. He has lost. I'm not broken because Dean Winchester loves me. I smile. Pride is strictly forbidden for an angel but I'm not an angel anymore. I'm Dean's. Nothing else matters.

The handsome man leads me under the shower, but I don't want to be under the hot spray by myself. I need him by my side and so with a sudden wave of courage I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him towards me. My hunter is surprised at first but he doesn't care that his clothes are soaked wet within a second. With swift movements he gets rid of them and then turns towards me, just watching me. I allow it for a few minutes, I like being admired by the man who just confessed he loves me and it makes me warm. More than the water can warm me.

"I want you, Dean." I whisper. He raises his eyes to mine, taking a step towards me. "I need you so." Another step and he has backed me up against the cold tiles. I don't care, I just feel his naked body pressed into mine and we both moan at the sensation of skin on skin. I don't feel insane any longer, I feel whole, complete, at home. Dean's hands wander over my upper arms, over my collarbones, down over my chest and stomach and then come to rest on my hips before he kisses me again. I'm sure he wants to steal my soul, sucking it out with this wonderful pink lips that work against mine, opening my mouth and plugging his tongue in to taste me, stroke me, make me mad with desire.

My hunter sprays kisses all over my face after our lips part, he worships me with his mouth, making me feel loved like never before. He wanders down over my jaw, my neck and gently bites into my shoulder from time to time and into the sides of my neck. I know I'm moaning like a madman but that I am and I don't care. Dean shall know that I enjoy everything he does to me. His lips trail down over my chest where he licks my nipples and I cannot help myself and my hips shot forward against his and we both moan at the friction. My body slowly slips from my control. For a second I try to get it back but it feels to good to let go completely.

"Dean..." I shiver when he kisses down towards my navel and lets his tongue dart out to taste the skin around it. My breath increases, I feel like drowning in the new sensations. I have never been so aware of my body before, I never knew that it could feel such pleasure. "Dean... Please..." He is on his knees now, holding my hips against the wall with his hands, biting the soft flesh there. He is teasing me! "Please... please... Dean..." I'm not able to get out a whole sentence, my mind is all instincts now as I have never experienced before.

The torture continues for what seems like an eternity and when Dean slowly licks along my hard member I cry out, my head falling back against the tiles. "Dean...please, please..." There is nothing on my mind except his name and my lust and it feels great after all the time locked away with Lucifer in my brain. Suddenly Dean stops, standing up and grabbing a fistful of my hair at the back of my head to force me to look into his meadow green eyes. I love his eyes. So intense and deep. They always give away that he cares more about me than he admits.

"You don't have to beg, angel." He whispers against my lips before kissing me. It is wicked what his tongue does in my mouth but I enjoy it so much... While his lips are still locked on mine, blowing my mind with his kisses, he gently lifts me up a bit and presses me harder against the wall so that my legs lock around his waist on instinct. I can feel his arousal. I want to feel it closer, in me, stroke me, possess me and I moan into his lips, urging him to take me. Now. And he does. His tongue tries to distract me and his right hand caresses my hair soothingly but I still feel the pain when he enters my body. He goes slow and I whimper. Not because it hurts but because I want him to be as close to me as possible. Now.

"Does it hurt?" My hunter asks in a concerned voice. I don't care, even if it would burn up my insides, as long as it is him. So I shake my head and give him a – what I hope – encouraging smile. "T'feels great. More, Dean." I mumble and he complies. I feel him slide in the whole way, then he draws back nearly completely only to stroke his way back into me. Pain is replaced with pleasure when he does it a third time and I feel my body begin to shake uncontrollably. Dean smiles up at me before he attacks the sides of my neck and my ears with his lips. I'm lost in his ministrations, every fiber of my being hums in pleasure as do I. It excites me to no end to hear Dean moan and gasp from time to time as well.

The weird feeling in my groin increases, something curls up in the pit of my stomach and it makes me breath faster and groan in anticipation. My mind, my body, my whole being spiral upwards, get closer to the edge and all I can feel is Dean. He does this to me and I know I will never leave him. I'm his now and I will go wherever he will go.

"Cas..." His raspy voice makes me open my eyes and I see him gazing at me intently. "Look at me. I wanna see your eyes when you come." This is it. His words send me over the edge, I moan loudly, half ashamed, half not caring and then I lose it completely, whimpering, gasping, coming. I stare into his green orbs all the time and his eyes claim my soul while his body claims mine. He follows me closely and I enjoy his sweet moans when his body shakes violently and he releases himself in me. I grab him firmly in my arms because I feel him sway once he has finished and we both sink to the floor for the same reason: our legs are too shaky to stand upright now. I cradle him in my arms and he gives a content sigh while we sit under the warm spray and let ourselves get cleaned by the soft drops of water.

When we leave the shower we don't bother to wrap up in towels but enjoy naked skin on skin when we lay down on his bed, cuddling under the white sheets. Dean smiles at me, he is tired but his eyes have a happy spark in them that I have never seen there before. All because of me and it makes me proud and happy as well. "Don't leave, Cas." Dean begs. He knows he is about to fall asleep and as I don't need sleep he is afraid I might leave. I will never leave him again.

"I will be here when you wake up, Dean." I promise and he kisses my lips lightly, then rests his head in my lap while I lean my back against the wall, my hands stroking his hair, playing with the soft strands. The whole night I watch him sleep and the small smile on his soft lips. From time to time I scan the room but I cannot see Lucifer anywhere. He is gone. Defeated because Dean makes me stronger.

The sun rises and soon I hear the key in the lock of the motel room. Sam comes home and will find me sitting here, naked, with only Dean to cover my lower body from his view. I don't care. The whole world shall know that Dean and I are each others now and Sammy is good to begin with. When he switches on the light his eyes fall onto me and Dean.

"I thought I should check on you both..." He says not in the least surprised by what he sees. "Lucifer?"

"Dean made him go away." I smile and Sam smiles back at me.

"Get dressed and I will come back for breakfast in about half an hour." Sam says with a wink. But before he closes the door again behind him he looks at me with his sharp brown eyes. "Take good care of him, Cas. He deserves it. Don't ever hurt him!" I nod solemnly with an inward smile at Sammy's concern for his brother that he only shows on rare occasions.

"I won't, Sam. I love him."

With that he leaves us alone again and I hurry to wake Dean up. Half an hour isn't long but I will get what I want. I kiss Dean's whole face to wake him up and it only takes him a few seconds to find my lips and kiss me deeply, bring me down under him and pin me against the mattress.

"Sam will be back in half an hour." I inform after we come apart for air and Dean smiles down at me with his wicked little smile of his.

"Challenge accepted."

**END**

_Hope you liked it. Reviews are very welcome!_


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